I’m so bad at keeping a flow of blog posts going. I believe the last time I wrote one was over two years ago when we made our move in 2014 from Maui to Southern California. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m not disciplined enough to write on a regular basis, because it’s hard to decide what to write about, or because my blog posts about Dave are always super emotional for me to write. Every post is a tearful post.
So, here I am, at a Del Taco in Lake Forest, California while my car is in the shop, using my iPhone and a Bluetooth keyboard to write. This will be the first post being written in a public place so I’m going to have to keep my sunglasses on to hide the emotions that come from writing about Dave.
Maybe this isn’t such a good idea.
Today, August 11, 2016 is the 10th anniversary of the day we lost Dave. Early this morning, Sierra posted her tribute to her daddy as she always does on August 11. I hope she’ll agree to contribute her own post to this blog someday, but for now, I’m happy that she continues her posts in homage to her dad in her own way….
Ten years has gone by so quickly and I’m sure the next 10 will as well. So much has happened since that day Sierra was five years old, sitting on my lap in our bedroom as I explained that she won’t be able to see her daddy again. She’s now 15 years old and coming up on her Junior year in high school with a busy year planned.
One of the things that I’ve been thinking about much more since moving to California, is the fact that I will never have the privilege of watching one of Sierra’s soccer games with Dave. The day she got on her first soccer team was the day he we lost him. Story here: The Gift of Soccer.
A soccer tournament which Sierra played in May 2015 in New Jersey, was the first time that Dave’s family was able to see her play. This was a pretty emotional tournament for me because watching the games with his family is the closest I will ever come to watching Sierra’s games with him.
Besides soccer, there have been so many more activities, events, accomplishments, milestones that we’ve missed out on sharing in person with Dave. The big move from Maui, starting high school, learning and playing basketball and making the varsity team in her second year of playing the sport, all the exciting track meets including running with her 4×100 relay team in the CIF meets, all the extra training sessions at the court, track, soccer field, the academic struggles and accomplishments, the process and commitment to Long Beach State on a soccer scholarship, winning an ASB election as class treasurer, learning to drive a car and there are many more to come that we will only be able to experience spiritually with him.
I’m always looking ahead and probably stress myself out more than the average person about future events. I know I’ll be a mess at her high school graduation, college graduation, wedding…and any other big event that Sierra and I have to experience without Dave being physically here. As much as I prepare myself, I know it’ll be tough. So if you happen to be at one of these events and see me hiding behind the bleachers or in a private space, you’ll know that I need a little room to try to manage my emotions. Some people need comfort, I prefer a quiet space.
Although he’s not able to sit next to me at a soccer game or track meet or at graduation, I’m hoping that Dave continues to leave little signs here and there, as he has in the past, to let us know that he’s around.
This Nickelback music video “Never Gonna Be Alone” pretty much sums it all up for me… Great song, great video. Bust out the tissues. Believe me, you’ll need it.
As Sierra said in her tribute post, after 10 years, we don’t miss you any less. And we will remember those years spent with you and cherish memories such as these: