The 10th Anniversary

I’m so bad at keeping a flow of blog posts going. I believe the last time I wrote one was over two years ago when we made our move in 2014 from Maui to Southern California. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m not disciplined enough to write on a regular basis, because it’s hard to decide what to write about, or because my blog posts about Dave are always super emotional for me to write. Every post is a tearful post.

So, here I am, at a Del Taco in Lake Forest, California while my car is in the shop, using my iPhone and a Bluetooth keyboard to write. This will be the first post being written in a public place so I’m going to have to keep my sunglasses on to hide the emotions that come from writing about Dave.

Maybe this isn’t such a good idea.

Pressing on…..

Today, August 11, 2016 is the 10th anniversary of the day we lost Dave. Early this morning, Sierra posted her tribute to her daddy as she always does on August 11. I hope she’ll agree to contribute her own post to this blog someday, but for now, I’m happy that she continues her posts in homage to her dad in her own way….

Sierra's Instagram tribute

Sierra’s Instagram tribute

Ten years has gone by so quickly and I’m sure the next 10 will as well. So much has happened since that day Sierra was five years old, sitting on my lap in our bedroom as I explained that she won’t be able to see her daddy again. She’s now 15 years old and coming up on her Junior year in high school with a busy year planned.

One of the things that I’ve been thinking about much more since moving to California, is the fact that I will never have the privilege of watching one of Sierra’s soccer games with Dave. The day she got on her first soccer team was the day he we lost him. Story here: The Gift of Soccer.

A soccer tournament which Sierra played in May 2015 in New Jersey, was the first time that Dave’s family was able to see her play. This was a pretty emotional tournament for me because watching the games with his family is the closest I will ever come to watching Sierra’s games with him.

Besides soccer, there have been so many more activities, events, accomplishments, milestones that we’ve missed out on sharing in person with Dave. The big move from Maui, starting high school, learning and playing basketball and making the varsity team in her second year of playing the sport, all the exciting track meets including running with her 4×100 relay team in the CIF meets, all the extra training sessions at the court, track, soccer field, the academic struggles and accomplishments, the process and commitment to Long Beach State on a soccer scholarship, winning an ASB election as class treasurer, learning to drive a car and there are many more to come that we will only be able to experience spiritually with him.

Sierra's 2nd year playing soccer.

Sierra’s 2nd year playing soccer.

Sierra's 1st talent casting

Sierra’s 1st talent casting

1st day of high school after move to California

1st day of high school after move to California

ASB Elections 2016

ASB Elections 2016

Verbal commitment to Long Beach State on soccer scholarship (Pictured with Asst Head Coach Jeff Joyner on left and Head Coach Mauricio Ingrassia on right)

Verbal commitment to Long Beach State on soccer scholarship (Pictured with Asst Head Coach Jeff Joyner on left and Head Coach Mauricio Ingrassia on right)

I’m always looking ahead and probably stress myself out more than the average person about future events. I know I’ll be a mess at her high school graduation, college graduation, wedding…and any other big event that Sierra and I have to experience without Dave being physically here. As much as I prepare myself, I know it’ll be tough. So if you happen to be at one of these events and see me hiding behind the bleachers or in a private space, you’ll know that I need a little room to try to manage my emotions. Some people need comfort, I prefer a quiet space.

Although he’s not able to sit next to me at a soccer game or track meet or at graduation, I’m hoping that Dave continues to leave little signs here and there, as he has in the past, to let us know that he’s around.

This Nickelback music video “Never Gonna Be Alone” pretty much sums it all up for me… Great song, great video. Bust out the tissues. Believe me, you’ll need it.

As Sierra said in her tribute post, after 10 years, we don’t miss you any less. And we will remember those years spent with you and cherish memories such as these:

Sierra graduating from Preschool, June 2005

Sierra graduating from Preschool, June 2005


7 Responses to The 10th Anniversary

  1. You’ve both accomplished so much, Lena and Sierra. I cry every time you write about Dave. He’s with you in spirit. Sierra has so much energy, drive, talent, humor, creativity, intelligence! It’s beautiful to watch her blossom with all your support, Lena.
    ((Hugs))
    ~ Marilyn

  2. Dear Lena and Sierra, Thank you, Lena, for sharing this beautiful post. I can’t even begin to imagine your pain and loss. You are an amazing lady raising an amazing daughter! I believe every basketball shot Sierra takes, every soccer goal Sierra makes, and every track meet Sierra wins, her Daddy is with her. You are the most dedicated Mother to your awesome daughter. My God Bless you always. Thoughts and prayers for your beloved David who is forever guiding and guarding you and Sierra from Heaven. Butterfly Kisses at Christmas! I remembered your story about David’s Silver Christmas Tree. Fondly, Jan Rien

  3. Every time I read your post it brings me to tears. You are an amazing mom and sister!!! Love you and thank you for sharing your story.

  4. Beautiful tribute . I love your blogs and wish you would write more… It is so wonderful that you continue to share your experience, strength and hope.

  5. It’s so hard to believe that 10 years has gone by! I miss him every day. I still talk to him but I miss his voice, the funny quips he would come out with during our conversations and his laugh. You and Sierra have accomplished so much. You have been remarkable in your strength, perseverance and dedication to Sierra and I’m sure he is very proud of you both, as we all are! Thank you for keeping his memory alive and for always keeping him in Sierra’s life. We love you both so much!
    With Love, Hugs & Kisses,
    Today & Always,
    Mo

    • PS – That song is unbelievable!!! I was literally sobbing! Anyone reading this, if you haven’t watched the video yet, take Lena up on grabbing some tissues…it’s a tear jerkah!

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