Valentine’s “Loss” and Found

I wish I had known about blogging back in 2006.  I probably would have posted entries just about every day about my experience dealing with my loss.  Writing was a healing tool for me. It brought out the emotions and also brought comfort.  I actually emailed Dave thru his email address which I kept because it was my way of continuing to communicate to him.  It was also my way of keeping a journal of my journey through grief.  Besides emailing Dave I also wrote a few poems. The Maui Weekly had posted a poetry contest in 2007 for Valentine’s Day. Since I love contests and I had already written a few poems, I decided to enter one about Dave. It was titled, “What is a Soul Mate?”.  I didn’t win, but was a runner up and was thrilled with that!  Also being able to express my feelings through this poem was very beneficial to my healing process. I’d like to share it once again…..

What is a Soul Mate Poem

I remember that at the time, Valentine’s Day 2007, I thought about how lucky I had been to have found my soul mate in Dave and lived 11 wonderful years together.  Most people never get to experience being that close and connected with someone.  Once he had passed on, I thought about the possibility that this was going to be my life for the rest of my life.  Widowed and single.  And I was completely okay with that…in fact I didn’t feel the need or even want to become involved with anyone else. I had met my soul mate and that’s it…the end. Besides there so much more to life…..

I had mentioned to friends that IF I had met someone, they would have to be super special! I would be insanely picky because of what I had with Dave and because I still had Sierra to consider. She had to like him too! This guy would have to accept the fact that Dave would always be a part of our lives; that Sierra and I continue to celebrate special occasions related to Dave. He would have to be okay with the fact that we still speak about Dave on a regular basis and the memories are very important to us.  This guy would have to be extremely understanding, selfless, emotionally secure and many other things on my lengthy list.  There is NO WAY this guy exists on this planet. And….I’m totally fine with that.

But then I learned that he does exist.

A Special Pink Dahlia

"Love Happens"

Fast forward to Valentine’s Day 2012. Five years after I first posted my poem, “What is a Soul Mate”, the holiday of love and romance has come around once again and has made me realize that maybe it is possible to have an amazing connection with someone else.

If Dave and Brad had met, I know they would have been the best of buddies. They have many things in common, but also many differences. And that makes it perfect. Somehow I feel like Dave had something to do with Brad and I connecting through a pink Dahlia flower. But that’s another story 🙂

I’d like to share the Valentine’s video surprise Brad had planned for me. It completely blew me away!  I am a lucky girl. Sierra is too. Dave was the ultimate love and support, our favorite guy. And now we have found another…..

14 Responses to Valentine’s “Loss” and Found

  1. Such a beautiful masterpiece of true, everlasting love. Thanks so much for sharing your touching story with us Lena. You and David’s love is the kind of love everyone dreams of. So blessed!

    • Hi Arlyn! Thanks for reading my post. Yes I got lucky and got to share my life with a great man, Dave Castles and that story continues 🙂 Then I got lucky again and found another very cool, very understanding, thoughtful guy that makes both Sierra and I laugh every day! Life is good! Thanks again Arlyn! By the way…your little boy is a total cutie pie!!

  2. Lena Dear,
    I love your heartfelt words of love and love “…loss…” . You are a beautiful person..that is most obvious in your love of life. My eyes stung with tears as I read your thoughts that you so gracefully shared.
    ..Me ke Aloha…
    Aunti Kat

    • Aunty Kat! So nice of you to comment! I really love that I can finally share my story about Dave. Lots to tell actually…some very sad, some funny, and trying to be as open as I can about everything. My feelings. What I experienced thru the whole process of loss, grief, healing and moving forward. Thank you for reading my blog and for your wonderful comment xoxo

  3. Lena, I am so happy for you! You shared the pain and that joy does return. Brad sounds wonderful and the video made me laugh and love you all. (Lena, Sierra, David and Brad) What is a soul mate? Love your poem.

    • Thanks Marilyn! I still remember the empty feeling of loss..I don’t think I’ll ever forget. However Sierra and I have learned to move forward and find happiness…I KNOW Dave would want that. Brad makes us smile, he makes us laugh 🙂

  4. Lena, I’m so happy you’ve found love again. I hope you had a wonderful Valentine’s day. I loved your poem…you are a talented writer and I agree, for me it is cathartic as well. I have the light hearted writing I do on the blog but also like to write very introspective pieces as well, am trying to find a different venue for those (perhaps blogher….).

    • Thanks so much Tania! This was an awesome Valentine’s Day. I really wanted to post Brad’s gift to me but because of the theme of my blog I had to figure out a way to make it work. It’s about losing my husband, but then now there’s a new guy…I had to make sure it worked and I must have gotten some help from above because after a lot of stress about how to do it, it just came to me 🙂 I’ve never actually taken or studied writing…I just write from the heart and let me tell ya…most of the time I’m writing anything about Dave, I have tears rolling down my face. Like now Lol! I love being able to draw emotions out of the reader…when someone comments that they cried or used up a box of Kleenex, I’m like, “Yes!!!” I love your blog!! light and fun! Thanks for your comment!

  5. What a heartfelt poem Lena – so touching. And it makes me very happy reading this post and how “love” is again blooming in your heart. It’s right, there is only one Dave and he will never be replaced. He will always have a special place in your heart. But Brad is a special guy too, and I think Dave willbe/is happy to know that Brad is there for you. Now I am looking forward to that “Dahlia” story 🙂

    • Thanks Liza! Yes there is only one Dave Castles! If you knew him, you would have thought he was one of the funniest, coolest guys around. Very important for Sierra to remember him….she was very young and I wanted her to remember as much as possible about him. Brad….yep is a very special guy. He’s accepted Dave into his life to and is so awesome! The Dahlia story is very cool….I knew something was up the moment I saw it on my Facebook wall from Brad..whom I had never met or had correspondence with before. Very, Very cool! 🙂 Coming soon!

  6. Lena, I love what you write about Dave. It was so raw when you wrote the poem, and sad the loss of your soul mate. Now you’ve found love again. I’m so happy for you. Brad sounds so kind and loving for you and Sierra.

    • I actually wrote quite a bit…it’s was all so very emotional, but also therapeutic. I’m glad I dated and kept much of it and can now share it. All of it came from the heart and my heart was weeping at the time…still does sometimes but that how it is when you lose something that close….Thank you for you comments Marilyn xoxo

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