20 Years Later: Life After Losing My Dad

I lost my dad on August 11th, 2006. I was 5 years old. I miss him so much.

Last month my mom told me about doing this blog post, so for the past couple of weeks, I’ve just been writing notes through ideas or feelings I’ve had. I took a lot of time going back and forth thinking about what I was going to write about so sorry in advance if this goes in different directions. It’s hard to put all my thoughts into one. Also, no ChatGPT lol.

I think about him a lot and it makes me so emotional thinking about all the adventures we could have gone on and experienced together. One of the worst feelings is someone asking me if I remember anything about him. Because truly, the answer is no. I was 5 years old and I’m 25 now.

My mom started this blog to keep my dad’s memory alive. I was lucky enough to relive memories through pictures and videos or places like here, adavidstory.com. I know this year she asked some people who were close to my dad to write a note. So, thank you to those people as well for sharing their feelings or stories.

A couple years ago my mom and I visited Lake Tahoe and went to dinner with one of my dad’s good friends, Flipper. He told us a bunch of stories of times he and my dad had hung out. Specifically, one time when they went diving. It was so fun to hear more about my dad and the kind of person he was. If anyone reading this who knew him has any stories please leave a comment or note on the Share Your Story page because one of my favorite things to do is hear about my dad through his friends and family.

I know I said I don’t remember anything about him, but I will say the one thing I can hear clear in my mind is the way he would say my name, “Sierra.” Mostly because of his thick Boston accent. I love hearing his voice or someone who sounds like him who has that same accent. Rare, but always love it when I do hear it.

My mom told me this story about how when I was 5 years old, we were driving and we passed by kids playing soccer at Kalama park. I told her that I wanted to play soccer too. She and my dad always wanted me to play tennis, but I chose soccer. And since then, my world has revolved around it.

August 11th, 2006, was also the day my mom got the phone call that I got on my first soccer team “The Butterflies.” It’s crazy to think this will be my 20th year in this sport and he hasn’t once been able to watch me play. Yeah, it’s been 20 years since we lost him. I wear 08.11.06 on my wrist every game to honor him.

Quick Summary in those 20 years: My mom and I lived on Maui for 8 more years before moving to Southern California in 2014 for more growth and exposure for my soccer career.

Even having only played once when I was a kid, I chose to play Basketball in High School. I made the Varsity Basketball team in two years. I also made Varsity my first year of Track. I played club soccer during High School.

In 2018, I graduated from El Toro High School and began my freshman year at Long Beach State University to play Division 1 Soccer. I met and played soccer with one of my besties, Elysia. I got called up to the U18 WNT (with Elysia). I got to be a bridesmaid in her wedding last year (2025).

Traveled to France in 2019 with my Long Beach State soccer team to watch the 2019 Women’s World Cup games. Plus we played two games vs the World Cup Argentina Team. I scored a goal against Argentina in front of my mom and grandma.

In 2021, my mom moved to Las Vegas and I transferred to play Division 1 Soccer at Texas Tech University. I loved the soccer at Tech and learned a lot but unfortunately playing time got cut short due to tearing my ACL and a very long recovery. Met a couple more friends there, one who FaceTimed me a couple days ago that she’s engaged! Shoutout Gisselle!

In summer 2023, I graduated from Texas Tech University with a Bachelor’s Degree in Business Marketing and a minor in Nutritional Sciences.

A couple months later I signed my first contract to play soccer and experienced living overseas in Singapore. Just over a year later I signed to play soccer in the Philippines. I liked it a lot there and met so many amazing people that I still talk to sometimes on a daily basis. I met my best friend, also boyfriend, Roberto (Berto) there. More about him later.

Since then I’ve played in El Salvador, Panama, Greece, Mexico, and the US. While I was playing in Greece, I also got to explore Istanbul with my friends and Italy with my teammate, Haley, where I ate way too much Gelato.

Growing up my mom was always there for every soccer game. She was always my biggest supporter. She took me to training, games, fundraisers, and even on travel trips. My grandma was a big supporter of me as well and what made it even better was she would travel with us – including the trip to France in 2019.

Traveling isn’t my favorite but I’ve learned to enjoy it and realize how much of a great life experience it is for me. I feel so lucky to be able to travel and play the sport I love especially when having my family with me.

I just wish my dad could have been there for it all too.

The older I get, the more I’ve come to see all the things we missed out on doing together. Sometimes I don’t know if I should feel sad or mad. At this point, I let myself feel however I want because I know there’s no right or wrong way to feel. Grief is different for everyone, and I still feel that grief from time to time when I think about him.

Life update: I moved back to California to the Bay Area and live here with Berto. He is a soccer player too. A goalkeeper though so not as cool as a 10 like me. I feel so lucky to have found someone who fits me and my life so perfectly. He makes my life easy and even tougher but in the best ways. He’s the comfort in my life but also pushes me to better myself.

He started his company, Golden Glove Academy 8 years ago and it’s the biggest Goalkeeper Training Academy in California. It’s grown to the point of being able to run it from anywhere while playing at the same time as he has great coaches to run sessions every day. He continues to handle all scheduling and communication, and I’ve been able to run the business accounts, film content and run the social media. In a couple weeks we will be going back to the Philippines. He decided to start a division of Golden Glove Academy in Manila. He loves coming up with ideas and I like figuring out ways that will work to help in any way I can. It’s been a lot of adjustments, hard work, and communication but I’d say we are a good team.

I know my parents were a good team. I see a lot of us in them, and I think that’s what gives me that comfort too.

With Berto, I love the sense of relief to have someone to fall back on in case times get tough. I love the thought of all the adventures we’ll get to do together. And I love the feeling of being able to plan a future. I hope we can do all these things.

I think what makes me the most emotional is coming to the understanding that those things I feel so much comfort in, my mom lost. It’s hard to think of my mom going through life not living it with the person she was supposed to spend hers with.

I used to go through life not realizing how much of a privilege it would have been to have both parents around. Of course there are times that I think about my dad and how different my life would have been had he still been with us today. But, I think my mom did such a good job at playing both roles that I never felt like there was something missing. It’s been tough to go through everything without my dad but I can’t imagine how much tougher it was and is for my mom. I don’t think I could ever repay her for all she has done for me and I love her so much. Can’t wait to get her to move out to the Bay area too 😉

I’m glad I was able to honor my dad on the 20th anniversary of his passing. I don’t know where life is taking me next but I’m happy with the place I’m in and with the people that are here with me. Reminder to keep your friends and family close because you never know if/when it will be the last time you see them.

P.S After 25 years Dante is still my best friend